Letter To My Younger Self

Three years ago, I wrote a letter to my future self (so that’s me now) during orientation of my current boarding school. Reading the letter now, three days from graduation, I became overwhelmed with embarrassment. Why did I use such casual language with myself, I wonder. Nevertheless, I think the letter was fairly factual and not so rich in raw emotions. Here is the letter:

Dear Peeta,

I gotta say, the room is extremely small! We had tons of trouble settling in but I guess a single is kind of nice. I met many guys and I thought they’re pretty nice in the orientation. I was paired up with Aadi (pronounced Audi) and we talked quite a bit, I think that was fun.

I’m not expecting much from myself but I really want to be good at a sport. There’s a lot of competition but I won’t give up. Probably…

I’ll say putting stuff into the right place was the worst part about moving in. Wonder how I’ll manage to pack them up.

I don’t know the name of my proctors yet (yeah… shame on me) but the neighbors are really nice!

I hope to make a few friends that I would be best friends with. Still searchin’.

My parents dropped me off and there were shouting girls at the gate lol.

The last meaningful thing before I left that I did was probably hugging my family.

Hmm… I guess finding friends and not be the lowest in the class are my biggest worries.

The scenery of my parents dropping me off is probably what I’ll never forget! It’s beautiful!

Alright Peeta, I hope you have an amazing time here and enjoy your 3 years. See ya!

I thought about the letter. My younger self was not expecting anything much. In the spirit of my high school graduation, I felt the urge to write to my younger self even though he is already lost in the flow of time. Whether he can read it or not, I’ll write one anyways:

Dear Peter,

For some reason, I dropped the r. I am no longer Peter, I am Pete. I can’t remember exactly when I switched but that’s how I set up my identity here.

Yes, Dana is small, but there are many things that offset that constraint. For example, if you sleep with your head facing the lake, you will wake up to a sublime sunrise. Nowhere else on campus will you ever scenery like this (more beautiful that your parents leaving, I promise). The image of the purple-hued sky with sprinkles of loons will be engraved forever in your memory. Also, your proctors are Briggs and Carl (?) by the way.

You will be friends with Aadi for the three years here and another four years in college, be good to him. It is our friend group that you will understand the word family. You will no longer talk quite a bit but spend couple of hours in the dining hall or in the dorm talking about every subject imaginable. That is what makes this place magical: the people you talk to.

No, you will never be a varsity athlete, but it’s okay. You will learn that you can’t be a jack-of-all-trades. Sports is something you will learn to do for fun rather than for competitive satisfaction. Sports, like what Camus said, connects people together. I hope you cherish the time you spend with your friends in any sport you do.

Don’t worry about missing your family though, you will see them more frequently than you think.

You won’t be the lowest in the class. Don’t worry.

You know what Peter? I really did enjoy my time here. No, it’s not utopia but it’s a place that really refined every aspect of your life. You come out a better and a more open-minded person. So don’t resist anything that the school throws at you, flow with it. At the end of the tunnel, you will really see how far you have come and how much you have changed. It’s both positive.

Anyways, I am writing this at 12AM so I need some sleep. Have a good night.

Best,

Pete